Funky Fresh

I had an genius idea today. I want a body pillow and a cover for it that looks like bacon. I could snuggle with bacon all night long!! That'd be so comfy, and maybe I'd get out of bed faster because I would be ready for breakfast! Sleeping with a giant piece of meat. Hmm I'd like another piece of meat in my bed. Holler!!! Sorry, I will try to keep this blog G rated.

I'm packing up to move back to Southern California and in the process have been coming across a TON of bacon memorabilia. None of it is really used, but it's good to have. Feeding the addiction. This isn't even all of it... I still have a 5x10 storage unit that I have been without for almost a year. I'm sure there is plenty more bacon hiding out ready to be found!

***I deeply apologize for the poor picture quality. My iPhone 3GS does not cut it... But fear not, I am buying myself the NEW iPad next week!! ***

These were all given to me as gifts. I appreciate everyone's thoughtfulness and can never get enough bacon air fresheners (I think I have two more in storage). Now whoever wants to get on that bacon body pillow, I will be forever grateful!

Poppin Skittles in my mouth.. Like a G6

Time for a quick story. It's late (a little after 10pm) and I just finished watching Glee. All this excitement is cray cray. I also decided I want to be Zooey Deschanel in New Girl... Oh wait, I already sing to myself, dance around, and generally am a little odd. Hmm I guess her and I have more in common than I thought. Oh and I also wear glasses occasionally. WOOT
Anywho, I gave a few drug tests at work today. The first one I ever gave was pretty significant because the guy tested positive for cocaine. He is a good looking, tall, tan late-ish 20's guy and was asking me all these questions on what they test for, how long it takes, etc. I thought he was just curious... NOPE. Never assume, the unexpected are always the troublemakers! Well the 2nd drug test I ever gave was today and insignificant (as far as I know, results don't come back for a week) the third unsuspecting client walked in and I was asked to drug test him while we were observing him charging his bracelet. His circuit broke at home and he couldn't charge his GPS device. Well our procedure has us breathalyze clients first... Well I didn't really think anything of it until he blew a 0.239!! Lovely. Here is a chart of what happens around this level.



0.20 BAC: Felling dazed, confused or otherwise disoriented. May need help to stand or walk. If you injure yourself you may not feel the pain. Some people experience nausea and vomiting at this level. The gag reflex is impaired and you can choke if you do vomit. Blackouts are likely at this level so you may not remember what has happened.


0.25 BAC: All mental, physical and sensory functions are severely impaired. Increased risk of asphyxiation from choking on vomit and of seriously injuring yourself by falls or other accidents.



I just walked right out of the room and got my coworker. Never have I ever had a client intoxicated come into the office knowing he was supposed to come in. Oye. We waited 20 minutes (because he refused to take the drug test and had a cab waiting outside) at least he's responsible!! Well yada yada yada and he then blew a 0.210 and took the drug test. End of crazy story.

Now while wearing one of our alcohol detection bracelets at an office happy hour for "training" purposes I checked the next day and my BAC found it's peak at 0.042 less than HALF the legal driving limit and I was feeling groovy. I can't imagine what a mess I would be at 0.200, dunzo Molly. I'd rather not like to think of the hangover to ensue the next day.... or death.

Drink responsibly people and no drunk driving!!