No no no, nothing came out of MY behind. But something came out of a canine's behind and landed on the bottom of my shoe. Yum.
Training at the San Jose branch of my company, and meeting everyone there for the first time. I wondered why the office smelled so weird... Then around noon I hear "Molly did you step in poo poo?" Check my foot... Yeaahhhh that's the unpleasant odor I thought was coming from everybody else except me. I then am free to be embarrassed out of my mind and cleaning up dog poop EVERYWHERE. We had a LMFAO "Party Rock Anthem" dance off first thing once we clocked in. Since I was proudly showing off my shuffle, I didn't realize what I was smearing all over the carpet.
I'm so good at first impressions. For your viewing pleasure... My favorite dancing music video of all time. Fast forward to 3:38. Fav!!
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Poppin Skittles in my mouth.. Like a G6
Time for a quick story. It's late (a little after 10pm) and I just finished watching Glee. All this excitement is cray cray. I also decided I want to be Zooey Deschanel in New Girl... Oh wait, I already sing to myself, dance around, and generally am a little odd. Hmm I guess her and I have more in common than I thought. Oh and I also wear glasses occasionally. WOOT
Anywho, I gave a few drug tests at work today. The first one I ever gave was pretty significant because the guy tested positive for cocaine. He is a good looking, tall, tan late-ish 20's guy and was asking me all these questions on what they test for, how long it takes, etc. I thought he was just curious... NOPE. Never assume, the unexpected are always the troublemakers! Well the 2nd drug test I ever gave was today and insignificant (as far as I know, results don't come back for a week) the third unsuspecting client walked in and I was asked to drug test him while we were observing him charging his bracelet. His circuit broke at home and he couldn't charge his GPS device. Well our procedure has us breathalyze clients first... Well I didn't really think anything of it until he blew a 0.239!! Lovely. Here is a chart of what happens around this level.
0.20 BAC: Felling dazed, confused or otherwise disoriented. May need help to stand or walk. If you injure yourself you may not feel the pain. Some people experience nausea and vomiting at this level. The gag reflex is impaired and you can choke if you do vomit. Blackouts are likely at this level so you may not remember what has happened.
0.25 BAC: All mental, physical and sensory functions are severely impaired. Increased risk of asphyxiation from choking on vomit and of seriously injuring yourself by falls or other accidents.
I just walked right out of the room and got my coworker. Never have I ever had a client intoxicated come into the office knowing he was supposed to come in. Oye. We waited 20 minutes (because he refused to take the drug test and had a cab waiting outside) at least he's responsible!! Well yada yada yada and he then blew a 0.210 and took the drug test. End of crazy story.
Now while wearing one of our alcohol detection bracelets at an office happy hour for "training" purposes I checked the next day and my BAC found it's peak at 0.042 less than HALF the legal driving limit and I was feeling groovy. I can't imagine what a mess I would be at 0.200, dunzo Molly. I'd rather not like to think of the hangover to ensue the next day.... or death.
Drink responsibly people and no drunk driving!!
Anywho, I gave a few drug tests at work today. The first one I ever gave was pretty significant because the guy tested positive for cocaine. He is a good looking, tall, tan late-ish 20's guy and was asking me all these questions on what they test for, how long it takes, etc. I thought he was just curious... NOPE. Never assume, the unexpected are always the troublemakers! Well the 2nd drug test I ever gave was today and insignificant (as far as I know, results don't come back for a week) the third unsuspecting client walked in and I was asked to drug test him while we were observing him charging his bracelet. His circuit broke at home and he couldn't charge his GPS device. Well our procedure has us breathalyze clients first... Well I didn't really think anything of it until he blew a 0.239!! Lovely. Here is a chart of what happens around this level.0.20 BAC: Felling dazed, confused or otherwise disoriented. May need help to stand or walk. If you injure yourself you may not feel the pain. Some people experience nausea and vomiting at this level. The gag reflex is impaired and you can choke if you do vomit. Blackouts are likely at this level so you may not remember what has happened.
0.25 BAC: All mental, physical and sensory functions are severely impaired. Increased risk of asphyxiation from choking on vomit and of seriously injuring yourself by falls or other accidents.
I just walked right out of the room and got my coworker. Never have I ever had a client intoxicated come into the office knowing he was supposed to come in. Oye. We waited 20 minutes (because he refused to take the drug test and had a cab waiting outside) at least he's responsible!! Well yada yada yada and he then blew a 0.210 and took the drug test. End of crazy story.
Now while wearing one of our alcohol detection bracelets at an office happy hour for "training" purposes I checked the next day and my BAC found it's peak at 0.042 less than HALF the legal driving limit and I was feeling groovy. I can't imagine what a mess I would be at 0.200, dunzo Molly. I'd rather not like to think of the hangover to ensue the next day.... or death.
Drink responsibly people and no drunk driving!!
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